Just because you can…..

Recently I was party to two people using social media for video communication. At first I marvelled at the technology that allowed them to see and hear over a distance of 6500 miles. A wireless device at no additional cost to their normal Internet provision achieved all this.

But then I started to focus on the conversation and discovered that they were spending over fifteen minutes chatting about their relative operation of their respective washing machines! While this could be regarded as the equivalent of the 1950’s over the fence chat, was this really the best use of this amazing technology.

What made matters worse was that the result of the conversation was that the older person took the young person’s advice on drum cleaning resulting in a sea of bubbles all over the kitchen floor!

On the same day I discovered the technological toothbrush that connected to your smartphone using Bluetooth. This was meant to record data about your tooth brushing and then to display graphs and tips for improving teeth cleaning. Forgetting that I don’t usually take my smartphone to the bathroom is teeth cleaning really that difficult that it needs my telephone to tell me how to do it even if I had time to listen!

This got me searching for other technology uses that we didn’t really need. Here are just a few.

There is the LED-illuminating toilet for when you inexplicably want to go to the loo in the dark!

Then there are the metal detecting sandals that have a device attached to your ankle and to the sandals for treasure hunting while looking like a criminal with an ankle tag!

For real madness, why not buy a toaster printer that will print messages and pictures on your toast! That should slow up getting the kids to school in the morning!

Not only can you get a Bluetooth connecting toothbrush but also the Bluetooth connecting Hairbrush. Imagine the scary effect of your electronic device starting to vibrate if you are brushing too hard or are encountering split ends!

One of the worst thought out devices is the drone umbrella that uses GPS on your smartphone to hover over your head. Try that down the main street in rush hour and see where that gets you as you lose signal, someone snatches it or a policeman arrests you for breaking drone-flying rules in public places!

Smart cups also seem to have been a favourite of the ‘what else don’t people want’ inventor group. Some will simply keep your drink at the right temperature provided you have connected to your smartphone and have programmed in your drink type and ideal temperature.

Others will identify what you are drinking, provide details of the drink, ensure temperature is correct and report on your hydration level. (Assuming everything you drink is in that cup rather than the old-fashioned water bottle or beer mug.)

I am still wrestling with who decided to replace ruler drawn lines with a pair of scissors with a laser beam attached, or the person who invented the revolving fork for spaghetti.

But perhaps the best example of the gullibility of consumers or the lack of inspiration of inventors is the technological pet rock.  Many of us older people will remember the craze of having a pet rock on your desks. This was just a rock that sat and did nothing, unlike real pets that required constant care and clean up.

When technology decided to upgrade the rock they attached it to a USB port. It still does nothing but, as it does nothing, it works across all operating systems making it a universal useless device!

I was going to explain why I thought these devices were useless, but then I decided that this would be teaching grandmother to such eggs. And if you didn’t see them as useless I didn’t want to discourage you from asking for one or more for Christmas.

Just resist the urge to buy one for me! Seasons Greetings to all my blog readers.

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